The rules that you set for her at home during this child social development phase are challenged by your child's developing sense of self concept.
She is willing to push further than before, despite the fact that you insist that she should follow what you say. Gaining self confidence can take a knock - all it takes is a small disappointment to send her rushing to you for a reassuring cuddle.
The irony about the 19 month old development through to 21 month old development social and emotional development phase, is that the more she tries to break the rules you set for her, the more she needs you to stick to the rules.
A child raised in an environment where she determines the rules may become insecure and unhappy because of the lack of structure and consistency, hence promoting anti social behavior.
This means that you should be prepared to meet your toddler's assertiveness head-on, without losing your temper. During this phase, remind yourself that it is in her long-term interests to follow the rules of behaviour. After all, other children will not want to play with her later on if she thinks only of herself.
When dealing with social development in children, you should always be willing to office advice to her. The solution that is obvious to you may not be obvious to her. Perhaps, it may not occur to her that, for example, she should say "hello" to another child who approaches her. So give her plenty of basic social skill training.
The same applies to play. She might not realize that to let another child play with her toys is an effective social skill. Chances are that she isn't ready to follow all your social skill training advice, but by starting to give her pointers about social interaction, you at least gets her thinking about social and emotional learning.
She expresses her growing desire for independence in many ways. For example, she might hit your hand away when you try to help with feeding. This is a good time to look for signs that she is ready for toilet training.
Remember though, that every child is different. Although many children start toilet training at around 21 months, there are some who are not really ready to start until later. My son only starting showing interest when he was about 28 months.
Be sure to visit all the child social development pages for different ages.
Read more about the different stages of social development.
You must constantly tell yourself that you are an effective parent, especially when a demanding toddler gets you down. Do your best to keep a high level of self-confidence so that you feel able to manage her competently.
She loves spending time with you. Listen to her as she tries to tell you her latest exciting piece of news, and play kid games with her. She needs to know that you care for her as much as ever.
Your child likes to have a predictable day. For instance, you might have meals within a set time range each day, or you may allow her to watch a video tape or DVD each morning. Routine makes her feel secure.
You may be surprised to hear her crying when you saw her playing contentedly only a minute before. She may quickly become upset by something that seems trivial to you but is actually huge to her.
At this age, your toddler understands simple explanations such as "Don't hit me because it hurts me and makes me cry". Offer explanations that spell out the implications of her actions in terms she understands.
Be sure to browse through all the child social development pages that is broken down in different age groups.
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